This is me:
Yup, that was me at age 4. I was quite the stubborn child and tired of my mother taking so many photos of me, I decided that I wasn't going to smile. Can't you see the determination? No matter what she said or did I was going to hold strong ....or at least try to. I think this was the closest my mom came to getting me to crack a smile during that photoshoot. My poor mom. All she wanted was a nice photo of me in the cute outfit she so happily picked out. They say that however you were as a child, is how your own children will be. With my luck this will mean that Zac and I will have some very stubborn little ones to deal with.
Six years later, a lot of things have changed. Zac and I live together in a beautiful home that we love. I graduated from college and am looking to get my masters degree. We are engaged and are just over 10 months away from saying 'I do'. Together, Zac and I have a solid, loving relationship. We've grown over these last six years, both individually and as a couple. It's clear that we've become very mature adults:
In all seriousness though, our priorities have certainly changed over the time that we've been together. The biggest change has been the idea of parenthood. Don't get me wrong, there are still some things about motherhood that concern me (Will I know what to do? Will I be a good mom? Will I really be able to do this?). The difference these days is that the happy, excited feelings of becoming a mother and having children with Zac seriously outweigh any of my fears.
Zac and I have been talking about children for a few years now. We even have a small collection of baby onesies. We bought these onesies a few years ago. Call it stupid, call it weird, say whatever you will, but we like our little collection.
Even with our small collection of baby onesies our baby conversations have only gotten really serious in the last year or so. Back in 2009, we said that 2012 would be a good year to have children. At the time 2012 seemed long enough away that we would have time to prepare ourselves for this life changing decision, but not too far off that we would regret waiting. Our own ages have been a factor in our discussions. Zac has said that he wanted to have his first child by the time that he was 30 and I would like to be done having children by the time that I reach 30. Zac's 30th birthday is just a few months away. Obviously, as we are not already expecting, Zac won't be a daddy on his 30th but we've made the decision that he won't have to wait too long after this milestone birthday to get that title.
Another factor to consider in our decision regarding when to have children has been the topic of marriage. I am not a traditional girl (I moved in with Zac right after our 1 year anniversary...clearly long before we were ever engaged) but I have always said that I want to be married before I have children. I have no judgements on other peole who have children before getting married (my own mother had babies before she got married to my dad) but it just isn't the way I saw my adult life playing out. So, although Zac and I have had conversations over the years about having children, we both knew that it wouldn't happen until after we walked down the aisle and officially became a Mr. and Mrs.
Now that Zac and I are engaged, I get asked (frequently) when we plan on starting a family. Zac is more than ready to be a daddy. He has jokingly said that we have plenty of time now for me to get pregnant and have a baby before we get married. As wonderful as it would be to have a baby right now, that won't be happening. Breastfeeding at the altar is not really what I have been envisioning for our wedding. Now is just not the right time. Planning a wedding can get a little stressful and I've heard secondhand how stressful having a baby can be. Putting the two together and experiencing both at the same time does not seem like something we would like to or should do. One step at a time is the best way to go, so that's our plan.
This doesn't mean that we're going to wait a long time after the wedding to start expanding our family. If all goes well (I had a weird dream last week in which I couldn't have babies) we'll be planning to add to our family shortly after our spring wedding. Zac and I are calling it "reception conception". Funny, right? Well, we thought that it was funny. While no shenanigans will be going down at our wedding (at least not between us...I can't speak for a few of our guests), a honeymoon baby isn't out of the question. We may not be having a 2012 baby but a 2013 baby will be just as wonderful (plus it isn't too far off our originally discussed plan).
We're already excited for the wedding, but having this post wedding baby plan really amplifies the excitement for next year. There's just so much to look forward to. As much as we're excited to be parents I'm sure our little nephew Grayson will be happy to have a cousin. Zac and I just love little Grayson. Seriously, just look at his little face. How could you not be in love with him?!
Having little Grayson around really proved for Zac and I that having a baby sooner rather than waiting a year or two after the wedding is the right decision. It was so great having Grayson (and Sarah and the rest of the family) in our house. The house seemed a little too quiet when everyone left....there was definitely something missing.
It was only a week or so after everyone left that we got our pup Jim. People have been joking that Jim is our practice child. While having Jim is an added responsibility, we know that it in no way prepares us to be parents. (Could you imagine if we left our baby alone with a stash of food and water and a few toys while we went off to work? Ha ha ha, I'd call CPS on myself!) Extending our family with a furry friend is not the same as building our family with a baby but it is still a great experience. Getting a dog was not something I ever expected that we would do and I certainly didn't think that the first time I purchased a baby gate that it would be for a four legged little pup. Though we won't have to worry about having any baby clothes in the laundry any time soon, it's kind of fun to see Jim's little shirts ready to be washed.
Zac and I haven't added to our collection of onesies and don't plan on buying any more until we have a bun in the oven but every once in a while I find something super cute that catches my eyes. Just a few days ago I came across this baby bikini in a size 18 months.
How adorable is that? Who even makes these things?! (It was Old Navy in case you were wondering.) I resisted the urge to buy it and put it away for later. (With our luck I'd buy this baby bikini and we'd have three little boys running around.) Soon enough we'll be able to go shopping for a little one so we'll save the excitement of picking out clothes until then.
...well the three of us.
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