Now that Zane is three weeks old (and quickly approaching four weeks!) my maternity leave is halfway over and I have to start thinking about going back to work. During our Sunday brunch visit I was asked several times when I would be returing. One of the managers I share the office with asked me if I was really coming back or if I was just saying that I was coming back but really staying home.
As much as I would love the opportunity to stay home and take care of my beautiful baby boy, I will be returning to work in just a few short weeks.This is not something that I'm excited about. Don't get me wrong. I like my job. I have a set schedule, weekends off, and I work with some amazing people. I am just not looking forward to going back to work and leaving my little Zane.
In a perfect world, I would be able to be at home but unfortunately, that's just not possible right now. It's very important for our family that Zac and I both work. After all, we have a beautiful home that we would like to keep and a son to take care of. My job is necessary not just for the income it brings in but because our family has insurance through the company. Without my job we'd lose the income and would cost ourselves a great deal more in medical bills.
So in a few weeks, I'll be headed back to my forty hour work week. I have my four week postpartum appointment with my OB on Wednesday and he should give me the exact date that I am permitted to return to work but I'm pretty sure that it will be on Thursday, June 27. (This also happens to be the eight year anniversary of my first date with Zac.)
There were a few things that Zac and I had to think about with my return to work. The first being childcare for our Zaney boy. Our schedules tend to be opposite so we actually shouldn't have too much of a problem in this area. I go to work at 7:00am and typically get done at around 3:30 - 4:00pm. Zac works nights and usually goes in at 4:00pm. Thankfully, Zac and I both have jobs that are pretty close to our home so our "commute" is no more that ten minutes. As long as I am able to work my eight hours, clock out by 3:30, and get home quickly, Zac can leave to work without any worry about being late and we won't need anyone to watch Zane. If for any reason I have to stay later to finish some work and can't get home in time for Zac to get to work, my mother has made herself available to come over and cover for us until I get home. Though I have a set schedule and work Monday through Friday, Zac's schedule is less predictable and consistent. He usually works weekends which leaves two days during the week that he has off. Thankfully, this means that a few days a week we won't have to worry too much about when I get out of work.
My biggest concern with heading back to work, is maintaining my goal of having Zane recieve breast milk until he's one year old. This goal was already challenged when we had to supplement every other feeding with formula when Zane was one week old. We are now down to one bottle of formula a day and I want to be sure that this number doesn't increase.
In order to see this goal through while I'm at work I know that I will need to have a good stash of breast milk stored away. I talked to some of my mama buddies, read articles, watched Youtube videos, and tried to get as much information and advice as possible in regards to pumping and storing breast milk. I bought a breast pump while I was pregnant and this week I started to use it. I try to pump a few times a day and my goal is to have at least 100oz of milk stored in our deep freezer before my first day of work. Realistically, if I continue to pump the same amount of ounces that I have been I will probably only have about 80oz frozen. My hope is that my supply will increase as I continue to pump and that I will save more with each pumping session.
I will need to pump at work not only to keep up my milk supply while I'm at home with Zane but also the make sure that there is enough milk on hand for Zac to feed our little guy while I'm at work. This has been my biggest area of concern. I don't have a private office to myself. Instead, I share the office with ten male managers. The office door is locked and can only be opened by key holding staff (managers and myself) however, there are at least four managers on duty who come in and out of the office while I'm at work. In addition, staff members frequently knock on the door and need to come into the office throughout the day so really all the lock does is require me to get out of my seat often to let staff in or tell them that no manager is available.
I will probably be pumping twice during my eight hour shift and will obviously want a private, quiet space to do so. The office will probably not work out. The amount of people that come in and out of the office throughout the day will make it a little difficult for me to feel comfortable enough to pump successfully. I could put up a sign on the door that says something along the lines of "do not enter; pumping in progress". (Or something other wording asking for privacy in a nice way.) I would need the office to for around thirty minutes each time I pump and it might not be possible to lock managers and staff out of the office for this amount of time during operating hours. Unfortunately, there currently is no other room in the back of our restaurant that is private, comfortable, and has a lock so I am not sure what alternative plan could be worked out. This is something that I will need to discuss with my management team before returning to work.There are other factors that could come in the way of reaching the goal of giving Zane breastmilk until his first birthday, but I don't want going back to work to be the reason that we aren't successful.
While, I'm not the happiest to be headed back to work, especially so soon, it's what needs to happen for our family. Maybe one day it will be possible to only work part time or stop working all together to stay home and take care of my family but for now it's back to the grind. On the positive side there are a few good things about working. Going to work I'll be contributing to our family, getting some grown up conversation outside of the house, and setting an example for my son about hard work.
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